Single vs dating vs marriage
The sexual appetites of women between the ages 18-25 declined the longer they were in a relationship.This wasn’t the case for men, whose desire wasn’t affected.Each category of people, looking at the life they “wish they had”, longing for something better than what they have been given. Potential for purpose, for pleasure, and for peace. But each is provided the opportunity to take the struggles that come with this stage of life and allow them to haunt, or heal. *This post revised and updated from the original version* Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love.The married couple battling the struggles that come with “one-ness”. The single, struggling with being alone for one more day in a world that seems to cater to couples. Potential for contentment in our place of life that has nothing to do with our relationship status, and everything to do with our connection with Him. She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog! I’ve come to realize that no matter who you are, or where you are- every stage of life comes with it’s own set of struggles. I think it’s time for us as believers to take inventory of what is really going on inside of our hearts. It was as though marriage was the final destination but somehow my train had gotten derailed to a very single place. In my mind, marriage was a place where life would be easier. Unhappy people, make unhappy lives- whether married or single. I remember looking at the lives of those around me who were further along on the spectrum of relationships, in fact, close to marriage- and longed for the day I could be there too. But what I know now, and didn’t know at the time, is that while I was longing to move forward, some of those married friends were already longing to make the trek back. And so I wonder if these perpetually negative feelings have very little to do with who we are in relationship with, and everything to do with who we actually are- standing alone.
Over the past decade, I have counseled just as many singles who want to be married, as I have counseled marrieds who want to be single. It’s time to take our focus off of the problems that our “relationship status” (whether married or single) have brought us, and instead fix our eyes on the potential that God has in store for us in this very moment. Potential for transformation, for consecration, for sanctification. There was a time in my life where I struggled with my place in life. I look back at my own life and I see the seeds of discontent, the anxieties, the insecurities, the loneliness and the pain stemming back to my life as a single…but slowly taking root in my heart as a married woman. _____________ I wonder if at times we have placed the weight of our joy on our relationship status rather than our relationship with the only One who can truly satisfy.In particular, it highlighted the significance of the support husbands and wives were able to give to one another in the process of detection, treatment and survival.According to the studies, it is healthier to be married than to be single.