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Those who were feeling love for their partners were able to push those thoughts out of their mind and keep them out.Those who were feeling desire for their partners were successful at first, but then they had a flood of thoughts about the alternative.Jeff Simpson and his colleagues showed that people in committed romantic relationships found photos of younger opposite-sex individuals less physically attractive than participants who were single.But when the participants judged older opposite-sex individuals or younger same-sex individuals, participants in relationships saw them as just as attractive as participants not in relationships.In other words, when the threat to the relationship was the strongest, people were the most likely to point out the downsides of the alternative.People in good relationships also change how they see the physical qualities of attractive alternatives.
After all, if your partner really is that great, you aren’t going to want to go out with someone else. People in relationships also tend to look for the bad sides of attractive alternatives.
Those who were very committed to their romantic partners tended to view the potential partners as less attractive, less dependable, less funny, etc., than those who were not very committed to their romantic partners.
This tendency was the strongest when the participants were told that the alternative was highly attractive.
There is even evidence that people in committed relationships may not even notice attractive alternatives.
Rowland Miller, a professor at Sam Houston State University, showed that the more people were satisfied with and committed to their relationships, the less time they spent looking at photos of attractive opposite-sex individuals.
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Relationships ebb and flow, and there will always be temptation, so why do people sometimes resist and at other times fall prey?